The bad news

  I'm on the train right now. It has been raining and snowing this morning. I love snow! I wonder how school is going to be today. Well, I really don't know what to write about right now. So I'll wait till the end of the day. 

   I'm on the train again except this time I'm going back home. Yay! Today was so cold. And it snowed this morning. I wish I had pictures. I'm super disappointed actually for one reason. Transferring high schools. I guess this post will mostly be about transferring high schools. Ugh I'm beyond pissed I swear!! I really want to transfer schools badly. I don't like my school at all. And I'm sick and tired of listening to the people in my life. They think they know what's best for me, when really at the end of the day it's my life so my decisions. I seriously wish I didn't listen to my friends in the first place. Right now I don't even have friends. And I am in a bad part of my life right now. Sometimes I feel like I have depression. Too depressed to function. Today was a better day though but finding out that news from my guidance counselor just ruined my day. 

      I'm pretty torn finding out the bad news. It only happened a few minutes ago. I went to the guidance counselor at the end of the day because she was talking to someone else at lunch. I want to talk to her about other than transferring high schools. But I don't know right now I just don't want to talk to anyone really. And I'm finding it super hard to open up about how I'm feeling. 

      So what is the bad news my guidance counselor told me? The zoned program that I wanted to get into for 10th grade, I can't get apply for that. Because of the fact that I am in 9th grade and I will be going to 10th grade next year, that means I can't apply for the zoned program. The zoned program is only for upcoming 9th graders. I really can't wait to tell my mom. I'm being sarcastic of course! I just can't wait. What this means for me is that I have no chance in getting into the school that I want to transfer to. I'm just so upset like I can't even explain but I am explaining everything right now.

       When she told me it hit me, the pain of it all. Well, of course there is a chance for me but I've just lost so much hope and I'm just doubting it all. Like seriously how am I going to get in? First of all, the zoned program if you apply for it you automatically get in. The other programs I don't even know if I can get in. My grades are on the okay side. I don't know if there good enough that I could get in. I'm  really busy so I have to go. Hopefully, I can do another blog post about this on the weekend or something because I have far more to say than this.